So growing up is, for so many people, a slow growth into the art of saying no. I will not: join your project, host your party, contribute to your cause, sleep less to go out for drinks after dinner, etc., etc.
Even this photograph, I regret.
I brought my Polaroid camera on the walk to the café near my office. While I waited for my tomato bisque, I snapped a shot of the pastry case. Without thinking. There is nothing wrong, per se, with photographing a pastry case. Of course, it has been done to death. The cliché of photographing a pastry case. But I don’t even like to eat pastries. I don’t see the beauty in them; they don’t make me joyful. To take a picture of a pastry case is me being lazy. It’s me thinking that I should take pictures of what other people want to see. All I needed to complete the shot was to put some dreamy macarons inside.
I want to shoot photographs of cheese and serrano ham on iitala dishes. Sprigs of parsley on C’s perfect scrambled eggs. A jar of water.
I left a friendship. It was no good for me. These things are related. Habit is dangerous. Consciousness is a skill.